wow its been a minute since I last blogged...but after receiving some IM's from HIM..I just had to reflect. Its funny..I'm sitting here literally shakin my head in disbelief...nonstop.
What does this person still want? If someone knows I wish to hell they would let me know. Lies...nothin but lies...not just to me but to all who he encounters. Its so funny NOW that those words (I love you) that I was longing to hear all the time....mean nothing...to me they dont mean a thing not even hearing them from another person. I dont think I believe in love anymore.
I believe in strong LIKE but not love. It's amazin to me that there have been people in my life that just threw those 3 words around as if they meant someting...when now I can see they were just bargaining tools. Something they used to get what they wanted.
I try really hard to keep from hating this person. I really do. I used to say that I could never not love this person..but it has happened. I feel nothing for him/u anymore. If the ground opened up and swallowed him hole before my eyes. I honestly think I would turn and walk away and not blink an eye.
This person is in Iraq now...and I'm sure the fascination wit me now is just to relieve some boredom but I dont think I can help with that. I moved on..somethin I thought I would never be able to do. I thought no one else in this world would want to have me in their world....but now...I see differently..I'm sure it may happen one day...but at the same time I'm overly cautious and my tolerance level is extremely low. I dont want to go backwards. The things and people in my past will have to remain there.
It took a long time to step out from under the dark cloud that I was under for the last 4 years..........I've put away my umbrella and I'd like to keep it in the closet.......I like baskin in the sun.
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About Me
- WilheminaLumpLump
- I'm a 38 yr old female who just loves to express myself thru my pics and my writing. I love life and I love me even more.
1 comment:
Wow, Mina. Seems like me and you have a few things in common on this one. I think about a now former friend who I cared for, and looked out for, put his woman ahead of everything that of vital importance to me just to be inconvenienced, lied to and hurt. And there were many occasion that I've treated her with contempt for the reasons that even though she claimed that she didn't mean to, she always had this habit of CONSTANTLY inconveniencing me. And every time I try to reason with her, I end up on the losing end, and I wasn't even trying to win the argument, I just wanted to get some understanding, but no dice! I even went so far to go into debt for her and the b____ didn't even appreciate that! So NOW I'm in more debt than I can afford to be in and we haven't spoke since February this year! But if something bad were to happen to her for all the s___ she did to me, even though the Bible advises "...rejoice not when thine enemy falleth...", I really wouldn't care at that point. It took me almost this entire year to get over this heifer and all the s___ she did to me. I still hurt over it, but it's history now.
I'm free from her spell, her lies, her inconveniencing me, the stress she put me under, her control, her asking me for stuff when this woman was able-bodied enough to do the thing her own damn self. Even though I'm in an even BIGGER mess than I was prior to what turned out to be almost two years of hanging out. I don't have to deal with her BS no more! She probably won't even call me again because of all the things she did and she ain't even woman enough to accept responsibility for her actions. So I can relate to the account in your blog here. I'm gonna remain anonymous on this one!
See you around the bend, sister. And keep posting those kick ass pics!
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