I am impatient.I am impatient.I am impatient.I am impatient.I am impatient.I am impatient.I am impatient.I am impatient.
Things arent goin like I want. I love photography but my creative juices have run dry. I am in need of subjects. Ppl act so retarded when u present them with your contact info and ask them if they would like some free shots..they act like you're goin to rob them or something. I didnt say meet me in a dark freakin alley, or be sure and come alone cuz I'm goin to kill you afterwards so what is the problem?
If I wouldve called them on the fone and asked for their social security number and bank acct info...I think they would go for it. Anyway...i wont give up. I'll keep trying. I'll keep giving out my cards and hopefully one day someone will let me do some shots.
I'm supposed to do a shoot tomorrow but I have this feeling that that person will be a no show.
Oh well. Im thinkin bout goin to church tomorrow so maybe I can find someone there to take pics of. If not oh well...there are millions of people on this earth. Maybe one wants some pics.
I'm in such a pissy mood this week! Ready for this freakin fashion show to be done. I got a horrid feeling bout that too.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Daddy
What a nice day it is today. I didnt get a chance to get out cuz I had to work last nite and was sleep...but when I stepped out to go to work...the sky was just breathtaking. Drove as fast as I could to work so I could get there a lil early and take pics.
I rarely speak to my dad..and havent heard his voice actually in about 2 years. Recently he started emailing me and I respond back I just dont really say a whole lot. My dad is different. He never really was one to talk a lot, or show any type of emotion or affection and unfortunately I think thats where I get that from and thats probably why I have the job that I have. You cant get all emotional here. You have to keep every thing bottled up until later because folks' lives depend on it.
My problem is I bottle it all up and I never go back in to let some of it out. There is so much in there that I have yet to deal with. I put it on the back burner until I feel like I have time to process it all. The thing is I dont have time yet.
Anyway all that so say........today on a whim...I sent my dad the link to my jpgmag page and he checked it out and sent me a really nice email back sayin how proud he was and that I was doin a real good job. I thought that was rather swell. I dont think he's ever said he was proud of me in his entire life. Then he asked if it was ok if he saved my pics to CD so he could show them off....heheheh
hmmm maybe a stranger..posin as my dad has been emailing me....hmmmm very odd.
:O)
I rarely speak to my dad..and havent heard his voice actually in about 2 years. Recently he started emailing me and I respond back I just dont really say a whole lot. My dad is different. He never really was one to talk a lot, or show any type of emotion or affection and unfortunately I think thats where I get that from and thats probably why I have the job that I have. You cant get all emotional here. You have to keep every thing bottled up until later because folks' lives depend on it.
My problem is I bottle it all up and I never go back in to let some of it out. There is so much in there that I have yet to deal with. I put it on the back burner until I feel like I have time to process it all. The thing is I dont have time yet.
Anyway all that so say........today on a whim...I sent my dad the link to my jpgmag page and he checked it out and sent me a really nice email back sayin how proud he was and that I was doin a real good job. I thought that was rather swell. I dont think he's ever said he was proud of me in his entire life. Then he asked if it was ok if he saved my pics to CD so he could show them off....heheheh
hmmm maybe a stranger..posin as my dad has been emailing me....hmmmm very odd.
:O)
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Thoughts
Today I looked for a new job. I am not happy where I am. I put some things out there to people who have some connections and I patiently await a response.
I tire of hating to go to work. One day I envision myself being somewhere doin something that I truly love. I hope that it will be photography. My interest never really lasts on things tho, so who knows. I bore so quickly at times.
Thats what scares me at times about relationships. I get bored wit folks too sometimes. Quick. i need my breaks. I like what I like and that is confidence. I want that person to be confident in themselves no matter what. Heck I have enuff self esteem probs at times to have to be stressed wit someone else just like me. Disaster n the making.
I am lookin for something and I have yet to find it. I know its out there....but so far I havent been able to put my hands on it. So much is goin on in my life.....some things I keep to myself..some things I share...some things I'm sorry I shared wit other ppl, but hindsight is 20/20 nothing I can do about it now.
Nothin really profound to say today just wanted to air some things that were on my mind. I need to get out on my off days and take some pics. Find someone to pose for me becuz this wedding will be on me before I know it.
Need to get out and scout some nice places for fotos too. I have so much to learn...yet it seems like I'm not really gettin there. I'm so not where I want to be. I'd like to go back to school but its hard with my work schedule. Dilemna
Gotta lot of things to think about in the upcoming weeks.
I tire of hating to go to work. One day I envision myself being somewhere doin something that I truly love. I hope that it will be photography. My interest never really lasts on things tho, so who knows. I bore so quickly at times.
Thats what scares me at times about relationships. I get bored wit folks too sometimes. Quick. i need my breaks. I like what I like and that is confidence. I want that person to be confident in themselves no matter what. Heck I have enuff self esteem probs at times to have to be stressed wit someone else just like me. Disaster n the making.
I am lookin for something and I have yet to find it. I know its out there....but so far I havent been able to put my hands on it. So much is goin on in my life.....some things I keep to myself..some things I share...some things I'm sorry I shared wit other ppl, but hindsight is 20/20 nothing I can do about it now.
Nothin really profound to say today just wanted to air some things that were on my mind. I need to get out on my off days and take some pics. Find someone to pose for me becuz this wedding will be on me before I know it.
Need to get out and scout some nice places for fotos too. I have so much to learn...yet it seems like I'm not really gettin there. I'm so not where I want to be. I'd like to go back to school but its hard with my work schedule. Dilemna
Gotta lot of things to think about in the upcoming weeks.
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