I dont understand me sometimes. Is this all in my mind. How can go from loving stuff so intensely to giving it up after such a short time. I start out liking something then it turns to love and I'm consumed with it and then after a while the sight of it sickens me and I give it up.
Happened with my art...the drawing..the painting...the writing..piano playing and now photography. The same happens with people. I have very lil tolerance for folks when they do things that piss me off. It doesnt just happen after one instance. I'm not quite that anal....but I just feel like if I consider you a friend and hold you in high regard then I kind of expect the same treatment. Dont ask me to do things for u or on your behalf if you cant reciprocate or if you always have an excuse as to why you can't do the same for me.
Once I am done with someone its hard for me to go back. I'm not sure why I am like that I guess it could be because of things in my past. I love passionately and I also hate passionately. I know its wrong to hate...but a lot of things are wrong in this world but folks do them regardless. I dont profess to be perfect.
Its funny that I was having a conversation earlier tonite with a coworker and we were talkin about how folks perceive you. Where I work folks think I am the meanest person alive at times...and I'm not really I just consider myself to be real. If I like you, you know it...if I dont, believe me you know that as well. I dont go up to you starting shit but I also dont interact with you unless I have to. I dont like to put on airs for folks. I am what I am. I love me and I dont want to change. I cant pretend to like folks that I dont like. I cant pretend to be friends with people that I cant stand and if you dont really want to know what I think about you then dont ask me.
I get so sick of folks here sayin shyt like...ooooh she's mean...mean to them means...I'm not fake...I'm not the type to just lie to folks to their face and pretend to be their friend....at the same time talkin about them behind their back. Please believe that any thing I say behind a persons back I will say to their face.
I just cant stand or tolerate fake ass people...or people who only have time for you when they want u to do somethin for their triflin ass. Ugh! I digress.
I think my problem might be a slight hormone imbalance cuz honestly sometimes I feel like I could just snap.....I get so frustrated with folks and the mid games they try n play. I'm so sick of the grown ass women who act like 2 yr olds.
Anywho...this was just a release for the moment. I can hardly wait for this year to end so that a new chapter can begin. End of the year always sucks for me.
Just need to make it past Dec 6th and then I will be normal again.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Thursday, July 10, 2008
hmmm
wow its been a minute since I last blogged...but after receiving some IM's from HIM..I just had to reflect. Its funny..I'm sitting here literally shakin my head in disbelief...nonstop.
What does this person still want? If someone knows I wish to hell they would let me know. Lies...nothin but lies...not just to me but to all who he encounters. Its so funny NOW that those words (I love you) that I was longing to hear all the time....mean nothing...to me they dont mean a thing not even hearing them from another person. I dont think I believe in love anymore.
I believe in strong LIKE but not love. It's amazin to me that there have been people in my life that just threw those 3 words around as if they meant someting...when now I can see they were just bargaining tools. Something they used to get what they wanted.
I try really hard to keep from hating this person. I really do. I used to say that I could never not love this person..but it has happened. I feel nothing for him/u anymore. If the ground opened up and swallowed him hole before my eyes. I honestly think I would turn and walk away and not blink an eye.
This person is in Iraq now...and I'm sure the fascination wit me now is just to relieve some boredom but I dont think I can help with that. I moved on..somethin I thought I would never be able to do. I thought no one else in this world would want to have me in their world....but now...I see differently..I'm sure it may happen one day...but at the same time I'm overly cautious and my tolerance level is extremely low. I dont want to go backwards. The things and people in my past will have to remain there.
It took a long time to step out from under the dark cloud that I was under for the last 4 years..........I've put away my umbrella and I'd like to keep it in the closet.......I like baskin in the sun.
What does this person still want? If someone knows I wish to hell they would let me know. Lies...nothin but lies...not just to me but to all who he encounters. Its so funny NOW that those words (I love you) that I was longing to hear all the time....mean nothing...to me they dont mean a thing not even hearing them from another person. I dont think I believe in love anymore.
I believe in strong LIKE but not love. It's amazin to me that there have been people in my life that just threw those 3 words around as if they meant someting...when now I can see they were just bargaining tools. Something they used to get what they wanted.
I try really hard to keep from hating this person. I really do. I used to say that I could never not love this person..but it has happened. I feel nothing for him/u anymore. If the ground opened up and swallowed him hole before my eyes. I honestly think I would turn and walk away and not blink an eye.
This person is in Iraq now...and I'm sure the fascination wit me now is just to relieve some boredom but I dont think I can help with that. I moved on..somethin I thought I would never be able to do. I thought no one else in this world would want to have me in their world....but now...I see differently..I'm sure it may happen one day...but at the same time I'm overly cautious and my tolerance level is extremely low. I dont want to go backwards. The things and people in my past will have to remain there.
It took a long time to step out from under the dark cloud that I was under for the last 4 years..........I've put away my umbrella and I'd like to keep it in the closet.......I like baskin in the sun.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Irritated.
I am impatient.I am impatient.I am impatient.I am impatient.I am impatient.I am impatient.I am impatient.I am impatient.
Things arent goin like I want. I love photography but my creative juices have run dry. I am in need of subjects. Ppl act so retarded when u present them with your contact info and ask them if they would like some free shots..they act like you're goin to rob them or something. I didnt say meet me in a dark freakin alley, or be sure and come alone cuz I'm goin to kill you afterwards so what is the problem?
If I wouldve called them on the fone and asked for their social security number and bank acct info...I think they would go for it. Anyway...i wont give up. I'll keep trying. I'll keep giving out my cards and hopefully one day someone will let me do some shots.
I'm supposed to do a shoot tomorrow but I have this feeling that that person will be a no show.
Oh well. Im thinkin bout goin to church tomorrow so maybe I can find someone there to take pics of. If not oh well...there are millions of people on this earth. Maybe one wants some pics.
I'm in such a pissy mood this week! Ready for this freakin fashion show to be done. I got a horrid feeling bout that too.
Things arent goin like I want. I love photography but my creative juices have run dry. I am in need of subjects. Ppl act so retarded when u present them with your contact info and ask them if they would like some free shots..they act like you're goin to rob them or something. I didnt say meet me in a dark freakin alley, or be sure and come alone cuz I'm goin to kill you afterwards so what is the problem?
If I wouldve called them on the fone and asked for their social security number and bank acct info...I think they would go for it. Anyway...i wont give up. I'll keep trying. I'll keep giving out my cards and hopefully one day someone will let me do some shots.
I'm supposed to do a shoot tomorrow but I have this feeling that that person will be a no show.
Oh well. Im thinkin bout goin to church tomorrow so maybe I can find someone there to take pics of. If not oh well...there are millions of people on this earth. Maybe one wants some pics.
I'm in such a pissy mood this week! Ready for this freakin fashion show to be done. I got a horrid feeling bout that too.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Daddy
What a nice day it is today. I didnt get a chance to get out cuz I had to work last nite and was sleep...but when I stepped out to go to work...the sky was just breathtaking. Drove as fast as I could to work so I could get there a lil early and take pics.
I rarely speak to my dad..and havent heard his voice actually in about 2 years. Recently he started emailing me and I respond back I just dont really say a whole lot. My dad is different. He never really was one to talk a lot, or show any type of emotion or affection and unfortunately I think thats where I get that from and thats probably why I have the job that I have. You cant get all emotional here. You have to keep every thing bottled up until later because folks' lives depend on it.
My problem is I bottle it all up and I never go back in to let some of it out. There is so much in there that I have yet to deal with. I put it on the back burner until I feel like I have time to process it all. The thing is I dont have time yet.
Anyway all that so say........today on a whim...I sent my dad the link to my jpgmag page and he checked it out and sent me a really nice email back sayin how proud he was and that I was doin a real good job. I thought that was rather swell. I dont think he's ever said he was proud of me in his entire life. Then he asked if it was ok if he saved my pics to CD so he could show them off....heheheh
hmmm maybe a stranger..posin as my dad has been emailing me....hmmmm very odd.
:O)
I rarely speak to my dad..and havent heard his voice actually in about 2 years. Recently he started emailing me and I respond back I just dont really say a whole lot. My dad is different. He never really was one to talk a lot, or show any type of emotion or affection and unfortunately I think thats where I get that from and thats probably why I have the job that I have. You cant get all emotional here. You have to keep every thing bottled up until later because folks' lives depend on it.
My problem is I bottle it all up and I never go back in to let some of it out. There is so much in there that I have yet to deal with. I put it on the back burner until I feel like I have time to process it all. The thing is I dont have time yet.
Anyway all that so say........today on a whim...I sent my dad the link to my jpgmag page and he checked it out and sent me a really nice email back sayin how proud he was and that I was doin a real good job. I thought that was rather swell. I dont think he's ever said he was proud of me in his entire life. Then he asked if it was ok if he saved my pics to CD so he could show them off....heheheh
hmmm maybe a stranger..posin as my dad has been emailing me....hmmmm very odd.
:O)
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Thoughts
Today I looked for a new job. I am not happy where I am. I put some things out there to people who have some connections and I patiently await a response.
I tire of hating to go to work. One day I envision myself being somewhere doin something that I truly love. I hope that it will be photography. My interest never really lasts on things tho, so who knows. I bore so quickly at times.
Thats what scares me at times about relationships. I get bored wit folks too sometimes. Quick. i need my breaks. I like what I like and that is confidence. I want that person to be confident in themselves no matter what. Heck I have enuff self esteem probs at times to have to be stressed wit someone else just like me. Disaster n the making.
I am lookin for something and I have yet to find it. I know its out there....but so far I havent been able to put my hands on it. So much is goin on in my life.....some things I keep to myself..some things I share...some things I'm sorry I shared wit other ppl, but hindsight is 20/20 nothing I can do about it now.
Nothin really profound to say today just wanted to air some things that were on my mind. I need to get out on my off days and take some pics. Find someone to pose for me becuz this wedding will be on me before I know it.
Need to get out and scout some nice places for fotos too. I have so much to learn...yet it seems like I'm not really gettin there. I'm so not where I want to be. I'd like to go back to school but its hard with my work schedule. Dilemna
Gotta lot of things to think about in the upcoming weeks.
I tire of hating to go to work. One day I envision myself being somewhere doin something that I truly love. I hope that it will be photography. My interest never really lasts on things tho, so who knows. I bore so quickly at times.
Thats what scares me at times about relationships. I get bored wit folks too sometimes. Quick. i need my breaks. I like what I like and that is confidence. I want that person to be confident in themselves no matter what. Heck I have enuff self esteem probs at times to have to be stressed wit someone else just like me. Disaster n the making.
I am lookin for something and I have yet to find it. I know its out there....but so far I havent been able to put my hands on it. So much is goin on in my life.....some things I keep to myself..some things I share...some things I'm sorry I shared wit other ppl, but hindsight is 20/20 nothing I can do about it now.
Nothin really profound to say today just wanted to air some things that were on my mind. I need to get out on my off days and take some pics. Find someone to pose for me becuz this wedding will be on me before I know it.
Need to get out and scout some nice places for fotos too. I have so much to learn...yet it seems like I'm not really gettin there. I'm so not where I want to be. I'd like to go back to school but its hard with my work schedule. Dilemna
Gotta lot of things to think about in the upcoming weeks.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Momz Eyes
Growing up in small town, Georgia I was the ultimate lil tomboy. My momz would dress me up in frilly lil dresses, stockin's and shiney and then look outside later and I'd be flyin up the street on my bicycle wit a gang of lil boys...stockings torn....barrettes missing and dress dirty.
She tried her darndest to keep me clean and girly but I wasnt having any part of it. I loved just being me and being different. I loved walkin around barefoot. I loved running thru the woods wit the guys pickin blackberries, playing football and just bein a kid. There was no doubt that I did not enjoy my childhood. My mom didnt have me babysittin my younger brothers or doin any of those things that wouldve pushed me into being an adult sooner than was necessary. I had chores as did other kids and my mom didnt let me roam all over town. I knew my bounderies and that boundary ended at hwy 292. I was not to cross it. I could ride my bike all around my neighborhood but stay off that highway! lol
I used to wonder if my mom was disappointed in this place that I am in right now. I didnt finish college. I dont have a career, I have a job and things could be so much different for me if I had gotten a degree.
Back then when I was 10yrs old my dream was to grow up get married, have 2 kids, one boy and one girl and have a nice house with 7 rooms in it. I used to tell my friends that I would stay home and take care of the house and my husband would work and we would be happy.
I am not goin to lie....that would be ideal for me because my personality is just THAT laid back. I am fine being in a solitary situation...being home alone all day every day wit no one to talk to. I could so survive solitary confinement. I am so interested in myself that I entertain myself on the daily. I am my own best company.
I wish that I was in a different place. I wish that I was able to do more stuff for my momz. I wish that on her birthday I could afford to do more for her than just send her a really nice card and put a 20 spot in it. I do lil things for her that she says is more important than money but in my mind....organizing her bills for her or goin to Georgia to help her in her house just isnt "gift" enuff to me.
Im happy that at least I do something for her but I so wish I could do more. I wish that I could make her really proud, but I guess she's fairly pleased as it is. I'm not in jail. Never been in jail. I dont steal. I show her respect and thats good enuff I guess.
All that to say...One day momz u will see me in a magazine somewhere talkin about something wonderful that I did and then u can say, "Yup, thats my daughter". That would be sooooo freakin cool.
She tried her darndest to keep me clean and girly but I wasnt having any part of it. I loved just being me and being different. I loved walkin around barefoot. I loved running thru the woods wit the guys pickin blackberries, playing football and just bein a kid. There was no doubt that I did not enjoy my childhood. My mom didnt have me babysittin my younger brothers or doin any of those things that wouldve pushed me into being an adult sooner than was necessary. I had chores as did other kids and my mom didnt let me roam all over town. I knew my bounderies and that boundary ended at hwy 292. I was not to cross it. I could ride my bike all around my neighborhood but stay off that highway! lol
I used to wonder if my mom was disappointed in this place that I am in right now. I didnt finish college. I dont have a career, I have a job and things could be so much different for me if I had gotten a degree.
Back then when I was 10yrs old my dream was to grow up get married, have 2 kids, one boy and one girl and have a nice house with 7 rooms in it. I used to tell my friends that I would stay home and take care of the house and my husband would work and we would be happy.
I am not goin to lie....that would be ideal for me because my personality is just THAT laid back. I am fine being in a solitary situation...being home alone all day every day wit no one to talk to. I could so survive solitary confinement. I am so interested in myself that I entertain myself on the daily. I am my own best company.
I wish that I was in a different place. I wish that I was able to do more stuff for my momz. I wish that on her birthday I could afford to do more for her than just send her a really nice card and put a 20 spot in it. I do lil things for her that she says is more important than money but in my mind....organizing her bills for her or goin to Georgia to help her in her house just isnt "gift" enuff to me.
Im happy that at least I do something for her but I so wish I could do more. I wish that I could make her really proud, but I guess she's fairly pleased as it is. I'm not in jail. Never been in jail. I dont steal. I show her respect and thats good enuff I guess.
All that to say...One day momz u will see me in a magazine somewhere talkin about something wonderful that I did and then u can say, "Yup, thats my daughter". That would be sooooo freakin cool.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
T N B
I think this week while I'm off and the weather is somewhat decent. I will try once again to go downtown Greenville and take some pics.....I havent really taken any decent self portraits in a minute. I may work on that this week. I say may because ummm I know I'm a tad lazy at times and I just may not do it. heheehe
My photography instructor from last month wants to do a shoot wit me but I have yet to call him and get the details on just what we will be doing....*the concept* and all. I kind of just like being behind the camera. I like gettin dressed up somewhat to take pics but for the most part...I love bein the one takin the pic.
I am goin to try and call him today and set it up tho and get it out of the way. I also may ask him if I could do like an internship with him for a bit. Just so that I could learn some things....and watch him work.
Not sure how that will go but I wont know unless I ask. I hope he says its ok
Well thats it for now...............just more ramblings from the mind of the wonderful Mina.
My photography instructor from last month wants to do a shoot wit me but I have yet to call him and get the details on just what we will be doing....*the concept* and all. I kind of just like being behind the camera. I like gettin dressed up somewhat to take pics but for the most part...I love bein the one takin the pic.
I am goin to try and call him today and set it up tho and get it out of the way. I also may ask him if I could do like an internship with him for a bit. Just so that I could learn some things....and watch him work.
Not sure how that will go but I wont know unless I ask. I hope he says its ok
Well thats it for now...............just more ramblings from the mind of the wonderful Mina.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
rants..n jarbled toughts
I hate you. Why are you like this. I know your secrets. Do these pants make me look fat? Why am I still gaining weight. God you’re stupid. I work with ignorant people. Most of my friends are online. I miss you Jaylon. Anthony u make me sick! I know more than you think I know. I lost this weight for you. Yay! I got a raise. I hate working at nite. He’s cute. We’re not together we broke up again. SCREAM What is wrong with me. Why do u keep sayin I’m big? I do care about you. I love you too. I forgive you. I miss you guys. Jaylon Mekhi. Cry. SCREAM. I’m tired. My first house. I love being up here. He blames me for my baby’s death. CRY. I’m not sorry I’m hear. I hate that bitch. Stupid bitch. Stop asking me for money. Will you shut up. I do everything for you. It’s ok I brought u something anyway. I love you. I miss you. I hate you. SCREAM You make me sick. Aww that’s sweet. Dumbass. I don’t care go. Run like a lil bitch that’s what u do. Sleep I’m horny. I miss you. Dam he’s hot. SAD. Why do you keep doin this? I will stomp a hole in your ass bitch. This is what u choose over me? Why does he keep coming back? I’m tired. Sleep. SCREAM. I don’t want to go to work. My first cruise. Never again will I go with her anywhere. LEAVE ME ALONE!! SCREAM! Cry. I’m glad I can talk to you. I saw him. If u mention your son to me one more time I’m goin to stab u. I don’t care. SCREAM!!! I need to lose more weight. I hate my tummy. I’m fat. Why don’t u ever say I look nice? Why don’t you ever hug me. If you loved me you would treat me better. You are a liar. I forgive you. Can we make another video? I want more sex! SCREAM. I’ll remind u til your death. Talk about Jaylon! Go! My life, my death. It’s ok to let go. I was good 2 u. That what u choose? Have at it. Friends? Love me. U were supposed to be my friend. Mention Him! 12/06/03. 4 yrs of my life. Where did it go? My personality is getting some muscle. Maybe I need to move on. I called your bitch…did she tell u? ha. 4 years. I did this to please you. I brought u this. I miss u. jaylon my prince. I trusted u. I don’t wanna hear about him. Do you still like my body? I am doin this for you. Turn on the camcorder. If only u knew. I miss his voice. I could so hurt u. SCREAM. I went out with my friends last nite. Smile…I miss Jaylon. We’re apart of each other always. That was fun. Hmm I can do this. Cry. I wont stop being me. I’m still mad at u. I want a normal relationship. Be strong Tracy. Jaylon Mekhi Walker. I love you my lil angel. Someone else will love you. Scream! I cant sleep. Losing you doesn’t mean I lose his memory. Am I fat? Naïve? I cant believe we are coming to an end. 4 years thrown away. I’m not moving back. We had fun. If only u knew. I’m a good person. I cant do this anymore. Its killin me. Scream. Cry. I love me you don’t. I gotta let this go. I still have luv. Peace. I’m mad at u for not trying harder. Jaylon mekhi. Kisses my sweet. Cry. Sad. I’ll be ok. I have my friends. Cry. Love doesn’t hurt. Jaylon 12/06/03. his anniversary is coming. Scared! U never saw him. Cry. How am I goin to fix this? Anger. Jaylon. Don’t fukkin ignore me. I’ll love again. Find me …I cant look anymore. We had fun last nite hangin out. Smile. That’s funny. I’m a good chic. Lol . I like my shape a lil more. It’s ok! I hope youre happy. I still luv u and that’s ok. I’m ready. Thanks! Smile. I’m happy today. Letting all of this go. I can do this. Who? I can draw! 12/06 came and I’m ok. I wont forget either of u. I’m ok with it. Smile I’m ready to leave this behind.. I’m done! Exhale!
*-Chocolate_Swizzle-*
*-Chocolate_Swizzle-*
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Why do I bother sometimes.
I hate being disappointed and I dont really give a rat ass sometimes if its something beyond a persons control. I still hate being disappointed. Does that make me a bad person? Do I care? nope.
I try to do things for people..especially if I say that I'm gonna do something but hmmmm turnaround? its not fairplay...believe that. Not all the time.
I am so annoyed today about so much stuff that I honestly feel like I am goin to P-O-P!
2008 has definately started off better than last year...but for once I can say its not because of anyone else...its because I've been busting my perverbial ass takin care of some things that were chokin the life out of me....and just wearing me down.
I still need to work on the relationship side of things. I am terrible at that. I dont believe in giving folks second chances. Either get it right the first time or move the hell on. Thats just how I feel. I always say...if u wanna be with someone then be with them and cut the crap. You know when u are doing something wrong that its wrong. U dont just figure that shyt out after the fact. When u are actually doin it...something in your brain is sayin...hmmm this aint right....so how can u fault a person for not being willing to forgive you when u knew in the first place u were screwing up.
I dont know why I'm bringing that up because I dont even have a man. Sometimes I wonder if I need one. I think I am twisted a lil too tight. I hate being lied to. I hate being disappointed. I am very moody..and I like my space. To me that sounds like..."You need to stay single"
hmm what else is bothering me today??? oh ...If I have to drive to Georgia one more time to pick up my mother...cuz she doesnt want to drive the 4 hours to get here..I think I'm goin to drive my car off the bridge. She wants to come here to see my brothers new baby...and my other brothers wife is due any day now so she's coming specifically for that...but yet I'm the one who is always designated to drive down there in my SMALL car to get her and my nephew. Of every single person in my entire family...I am the one with the oldest and smallest car....and the least dependable....so please tell me WHY am I always the one looked upon to do all the driving. No one cares that I work a 12 hour shift and then once i get off my cell is ringing off the hook. Have u left yet? are you on your way? Arrrgh! driving 4 hours after being awake all nite at work.
Only to get to Georgia and find that my mom is not ready and does not have one item packed. *prays* So I have to wait hours for her to get ready....then hop back into the car and drive 4 hours back to South Carolina....and most times...work the very next day. Happens like that every single time.
I am so sick of Georgia til its not even funny. Today has been a very miserable and disappointing day. I dont expect anything different tomorrrow. Happy Freakin Valentines Day!
I try to do things for people..especially if I say that I'm gonna do something but hmmmm turnaround? its not fairplay...believe that. Not all the time.
I am so annoyed today about so much stuff that I honestly feel like I am goin to P-O-P!
2008 has definately started off better than last year...but for once I can say its not because of anyone else...its because I've been busting my perverbial ass takin care of some things that were chokin the life out of me....and just wearing me down.
I still need to work on the relationship side of things. I am terrible at that. I dont believe in giving folks second chances. Either get it right the first time or move the hell on. Thats just how I feel. I always say...if u wanna be with someone then be with them and cut the crap. You know when u are doing something wrong that its wrong. U dont just figure that shyt out after the fact. When u are actually doin it...something in your brain is sayin...hmmm this aint right....so how can u fault a person for not being willing to forgive you when u knew in the first place u were screwing up.
I dont know why I'm bringing that up because I dont even have a man. Sometimes I wonder if I need one. I think I am twisted a lil too tight. I hate being lied to. I hate being disappointed. I am very moody..and I like my space. To me that sounds like..."You need to stay single"
hmm what else is bothering me today??? oh ...If I have to drive to Georgia one more time to pick up my mother...cuz she doesnt want to drive the 4 hours to get here..I think I'm goin to drive my car off the bridge. She wants to come here to see my brothers new baby...and my other brothers wife is due any day now so she's coming specifically for that...but yet I'm the one who is always designated to drive down there in my SMALL car to get her and my nephew. Of every single person in my entire family...I am the one with the oldest and smallest car....and the least dependable....so please tell me WHY am I always the one looked upon to do all the driving. No one cares that I work a 12 hour shift and then once i get off my cell is ringing off the hook. Have u left yet? are you on your way? Arrrgh! driving 4 hours after being awake all nite at work.
Only to get to Georgia and find that my mom is not ready and does not have one item packed. *prays* So I have to wait hours for her to get ready....then hop back into the car and drive 4 hours back to South Carolina....and most times...work the very next day. Happens like that every single time.
I am so sick of Georgia til its not even funny. Today has been a very miserable and disappointing day. I dont expect anything different tomorrrow. Happy Freakin Valentines Day!
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Attitude
What an interesting week. Nothing bad happened per say.. but something interesting happened at work that made me a victim of a crime and I had no clue about it. No one brought it to my attention or anything. That might not mean much to some but ummm I work at a police dept...and seems like if something happened concerning me and mine someone...meaning one of my coworkers would tell me....but uh no. I guess it dont work like that...u have to run up on information.
Anywho Im bringing it to the attention of the person that its supposed to be brought to...NUFF said.
I titled this blog Attitude cuz hey. Everyone has one....and its funny that one of my newfound flickrites used that to describe this pic of me. It does have attitude I think. I felt sassy, and free and happy when I took that pic last nite. Sometimes I tend to let the actions of others get me down but lately....not so much. I could care less.
In other news...I am learning day by day new things and new ideas for my photography. I need to start saving so that I can hurry up and get my new camera. I have some things in mind and I want to bring them to fruititon. I am really excited about the things I have learned from various ppl on flickr. There are some who act like they got some type of freakin trade secret.....but I just keep it moving and continue to learn from the ones who take time from their busy schedules to spread a lil knowledge my way.
I dont think its a competition or anything like that or a race for numbers...because who really gives a shit? I mean...if it was bout numbers then I am quite happy with the number of views I have....*brushes off shoulders* It grows on the daily...but unless the competition involves some loot...Im not a active participant in it. Ya heard?
There is not much I am willing to do for free. hehhe Hmmm what else?
I was thinkin bout this before I fell asleep last nite..but its so funny to me how folks have nothing to say to u until something isn't goin right in their life..then u can't turn for them. There they are in your face. ....needin ur time...or your advice. Lately..I've been turning my back as well. I like the person I am but I dont like to be used....ya know? I'm sorry u have drama...I'm sorry u bored and lonely..but when u got things goin on and u having a blast and u decide then that u dont have time to speak to me then please remember not to speak/converse with me when things are goin haywire as well.
Fairweather friends sooo piss me off. People with hidden agendas do the same. My suggestion to u is to merely...keep it moving. I dont need nor want ya in my life. Im doin me......and I dont have time for the foolishness..ya dig?
Anywho Im bringing it to the attention of the person that its supposed to be brought to...NUFF said.
I titled this blog Attitude cuz hey. Everyone has one....and its funny that one of my newfound flickrites used that to describe this pic of me. It does have attitude I think. I felt sassy, and free and happy when I took that pic last nite. Sometimes I tend to let the actions of others get me down but lately....not so much. I could care less.
In other news...I am learning day by day new things and new ideas for my photography. I need to start saving so that I can hurry up and get my new camera. I have some things in mind and I want to bring them to fruititon. I am really excited about the things I have learned from various ppl on flickr. There are some who act like they got some type of freakin trade secret.....but I just keep it moving and continue to learn from the ones who take time from their busy schedules to spread a lil knowledge my way.
I dont think its a competition or anything like that or a race for numbers...because who really gives a shit? I mean...if it was bout numbers then I am quite happy with the number of views I have....*brushes off shoulders* It grows on the daily...but unless the competition involves some loot...Im not a active participant in it. Ya heard?
There is not much I am willing to do for free. hehhe Hmmm what else?
I was thinkin bout this before I fell asleep last nite..but its so funny to me how folks have nothing to say to u until something isn't goin right in their life..then u can't turn for them. There they are in your face. ....needin ur time...or your advice. Lately..I've been turning my back as well. I like the person I am but I dont like to be used....ya know? I'm sorry u have drama...I'm sorry u bored and lonely..but when u got things goin on and u having a blast and u decide then that u dont have time to speak to me then please remember not to speak/converse with me when things are goin haywire as well.
Fairweather friends sooo piss me off. People with hidden agendas do the same. My suggestion to u is to merely...keep it moving. I dont need nor want ya in my life. Im doin me......and I dont have time for the foolishness..ya dig?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
