*sigh*
Lil Jeremiah...u dont know it yet..but you are in for one heck of a ride with your crazy momma. All we can do as your family is make sure that while the ride is somewhat rocky...u will definately remain safe from harm.
Last nite you almost lost your precious life...and you are still not out of the woods yet. You are still fighting for your chance to be on this earth. I hope God does not use u as a tool to show your mother that she needs to slow her ass down and sit down somewhere and take care of u guys like she needs to.
You and Daveion and NiShonti and Ahmad deserve a better life than the one u are getting right now. As your auntie...all I can do is try and help out as much as I can and I most definately will do that.
My prayers are with you while u are in the hospital...and I pray that u will be ok.
Love your Auntie.
Monday, December 31, 2007
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Pookie sleep/September 2005.
doin whut he loves
12/22/07 Reflections;
Dam its been a long time. My how time flies.
Wow I was goin thru my pics and came across this one...and it is so funny.....There was a time not too long ago when I loved this person with all my heart and would've done anythin in my power to make him happy and did do that.
Now look at where we are. He tries to speak to me.....constantly asks for my forgiveness..but his pleas fall on deaf ears and a hardened heart now. Smh! It's unreal to me now how back then that I thought that I could not breathe without him in my life. I could never imagine myself happy without him but look at me now, I am happy.
I used to think that I simply could not live without him..and now...today I am living and doin just fine. Some ppl men and women alike dont appreciate what they have until its gone. I'm not a perfect person...but I know without a shadow of a doubt that I was more than good to this person...and in the end thats all I could do/be.
Maybe one day...I can find it in my heart to forgive him...but its been a year...and so far...I dont see it happening any time soon. I think ppl should put their games aside when they are dealing with other ppl's hearts. Thats just my thought. If u want something say it....be a man or woman..and say...I just want this or I just want that...and give the other person the opportunity to decide if thats what they want instead of pretending or keepin secrets. I think life would be so much simpler that way. I gave 4 years of my life to this person....lost a child with this person....put up wit a lot of stuff cuz inside I felt I didnt deserve anything any different. Those were 4 hard years...some good times.. some happy times...but for the most part....LOTS of stress, and unhappiness and walking around on egg shells. Never again.
I'm glad that I went thru that now...because I see now that .....I can endure hard times..and still come out strong. I am better because of this experience...and I learned a valuable lesson. I learned that u can't trust anyone....you can open your heart as wide as ya want...but u betta be ready to close that mutha at a moments notice if u want to remain unscathed.
I guess thats why right now I am soooooooooo not feeling being in any type of relationship wit any man right now.
Some of you are too dam grown to still be tryna run game and live the street life. Get it together...be yourself.....be real...be honest...and you never know u just might BE happy in the end.
12/22/07 Reflections;
Dam its been a long time. My how time flies.
Wow I was goin thru my pics and came across this one...and it is so funny.....There was a time not too long ago when I loved this person with all my heart and would've done anythin in my power to make him happy and did do that.
Now look at where we are. He tries to speak to me.....constantly asks for my forgiveness..but his pleas fall on deaf ears and a hardened heart now. Smh! It's unreal to me now how back then that I thought that I could not breathe without him in my life. I could never imagine myself happy without him but look at me now, I am happy.
I used to think that I simply could not live without him..and now...today I am living and doin just fine. Some ppl men and women alike dont appreciate what they have until its gone. I'm not a perfect person...but I know without a shadow of a doubt that I was more than good to this person...and in the end thats all I could do/be.
Maybe one day...I can find it in my heart to forgive him...but its been a year...and so far...I dont see it happening any time soon. I think ppl should put their games aside when they are dealing with other ppl's hearts. Thats just my thought. If u want something say it....be a man or woman..and say...I just want this or I just want that...and give the other person the opportunity to decide if thats what they want instead of pretending or keepin secrets. I think life would be so much simpler that way. I gave 4 years of my life to this person....lost a child with this person....put up wit a lot of stuff cuz inside I felt I didnt deserve anything any different. Those were 4 hard years...some good times.. some happy times...but for the most part....LOTS of stress, and unhappiness and walking around on egg shells. Never again.
I'm glad that I went thru that now...because I see now that .....I can endure hard times..and still come out strong. I am better because of this experience...and I learned a valuable lesson. I learned that u can't trust anyone....you can open your heart as wide as ya want...but u betta be ready to close that mutha at a moments notice if u want to remain unscathed.
I guess thats why right now I am soooooooooo not feeling being in any type of relationship wit any man right now.
Some of you are too dam grown to still be tryna run game and live the street life. Get it together...be yourself.....be real...be honest...and you never know u just might BE happy in the end.
Sunday, December 9, 2007
It's just me
Hmm today is Sunday....think I had more than my share of sugar today....not good.
I ventured out and tried something new today...was a receipe that I got from a flickr friend for Beef and broccoli...let me tell you it tasted something good. I was very happy with the outcome and I was more happy I think that when I took a picture of it that came out pretty darn nice as well.
I'm doin the best I can with these pictures. Im tryin to learn very slowly the settings on my camera and how to use them. It's gonna take a minute until I can get into a class or something but I'll get it i'm sure.
Im gonna buy a smaller ipod and get myself a small bookbag so that I will always have camera and tripod ready. I wanna do this...I have always loved photography. I just wanted to do more..just still dont know how yet, but Im willing to learn...just need to find that hands on teacher.
Takes time.
I ventured out and tried something new today...was a receipe that I got from a flickr friend for Beef and broccoli...let me tell you it tasted something good. I was very happy with the outcome and I was more happy I think that when I took a picture of it that came out pretty darn nice as well.
I'm doin the best I can with these pictures. Im tryin to learn very slowly the settings on my camera and how to use them. It's gonna take a minute until I can get into a class or something but I'll get it i'm sure.
Im gonna buy a smaller ipod and get myself a small bookbag so that I will always have camera and tripod ready. I wanna do this...I have always loved photography. I just wanted to do more..just still dont know how yet, but Im willing to learn...just need to find that hands on teacher.
Takes time.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Nite Shift
Dont act surprised...yall know I do this every other month...hehehe
Tonite I begin nite shift AGAIN! I been doin the cat nap thing all day...off and on...tryna get ready but....it will take me at least 2 weeks to really get my body there...and then 2 weeks after that I will be goin back to days.
The benefits at my job are great as far as Im concerned...We have good medical and dental....we get a 3% raise every january...and then we get a 1-5% raise each year for our evaluation...*depends on how good u've been...hhehe* my first year I got a 5% this year I got 4% cuz my supervisor said Ive been mean to folks....*allegedly*
Oh well who cares....a raise is a raise...and if I can be mean and get a 4% raise then guess what? 4% next year too.
I'm not mean..I just dont let folks walk over me. I dont go out of my way to be nice to fake people....and get this....one of our captains says I'm mean cuz I dont speak to him when he comes in .....ok well uh so! If he speaks to me I speak to him but I dont just go Hey Captain how the hell are ya today. My coworker does that...and she sounds so fake. I figure if u just doin it to placate someone then its not genuine and I'd rather not do it.
I'm not a morning person so in the mornings....Im not in a good mood. I like quiet. It's best not to bother me til round 1 or so. I'm good at what I do...correction...I kick ass at what I do. I can work alone and still kick ass. I actually prefer to work alone but I dont get that luxury too often.
I dont know what I'd be doin if I wasnt a dispatcher. I love cops. I love watchin cop shows...I love tellin cops where to go...hhehe its the right field but sometimes I think I'd like to do something other than just dispatching. I'd like to either take some photography classes and be a forensic photographer...or either do something wit fingerprinting...cuz if the officers are really busy....I will force myself to help with fingerprinting. I also like interpreting for them cuz I can speak enuff spanish to get the info that they need.
Ok now i'm thinkin I need to do the flickr blog thing cuz I think I've turned my photostream into a mini blog....but I like it. I like to write...and I love to talk to me...heheheh such a great listener....
Tonite I begin nite shift AGAIN! I been doin the cat nap thing all day...off and on...tryna get ready but....it will take me at least 2 weeks to really get my body there...and then 2 weeks after that I will be goin back to days.
The benefits at my job are great as far as Im concerned...We have good medical and dental....we get a 3% raise every january...and then we get a 1-5% raise each year for our evaluation...*depends on how good u've been...hhehe* my first year I got a 5% this year I got 4% cuz my supervisor said Ive been mean to folks....*allegedly*
Oh well who cares....a raise is a raise...and if I can be mean and get a 4% raise then guess what? 4% next year too.
I'm not mean..I just dont let folks walk over me. I dont go out of my way to be nice to fake people....and get this....one of our captains says I'm mean cuz I dont speak to him when he comes in .....ok well uh so! If he speaks to me I speak to him but I dont just go Hey Captain how the hell are ya today. My coworker does that...and she sounds so fake. I figure if u just doin it to placate someone then its not genuine and I'd rather not do it.
I'm not a morning person so in the mornings....Im not in a good mood. I like quiet. It's best not to bother me til round 1 or so. I'm good at what I do...correction...I kick ass at what I do. I can work alone and still kick ass. I actually prefer to work alone but I dont get that luxury too often.
I dont know what I'd be doin if I wasnt a dispatcher. I love cops. I love watchin cop shows...I love tellin cops where to go...hhehe its the right field but sometimes I think I'd like to do something other than just dispatching. I'd like to either take some photography classes and be a forensic photographer...or either do something wit fingerprinting...cuz if the officers are really busy....I will force myself to help with fingerprinting. I also like interpreting for them cuz I can speak enuff spanish to get the info that they need.
Ok now i'm thinkin I need to do the flickr blog thing cuz I think I've turned my photostream into a mini blog....but I like it. I like to write...and I love to talk to me...heheheh such a great listener....
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Ponderisms
why do I like being alone so much?
why do I sit in my room all day and I feel so content just bein there no tv no radio...just me and my laptop n my webcam?
Why do I say I wanna meet new ppl but I dont do anything about it?
Why do I hate workin so much?
Is it wrong to love yaself this much?
How long should u hold a grudge against someone who has wronged u?
Are u obligated to forgive ppl when they do things wrong to you?
What is it wit this afro?
Am I crazy? ok dont answer that.
Is it weird that over the last couple months...I have had absolutely no interest in men? Yeah if I see a hot one...I will comment but other than that.......not interested, and not that there is anything wrong wit it but I'm not switchin over.
hmmmm things that make me go hmmmm
why do I sit in my room all day and I feel so content just bein there no tv no radio...just me and my laptop n my webcam?
Why do I say I wanna meet new ppl but I dont do anything about it?
Why do I hate workin so much?
Is it wrong to love yaself this much?
How long should u hold a grudge against someone who has wronged u?
Are u obligated to forgive ppl when they do things wrong to you?
What is it wit this afro?
Am I crazy? ok dont answer that.
Is it weird that over the last couple months...I have had absolutely no interest in men? Yeah if I see a hot one...I will comment but other than that.......not interested, and not that there is anything wrong wit it but I'm not switchin over.
hmmmm things that make me go hmmmm
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