I hate you. Why are you like this. I know your secrets. Do these pants make me look fat? Why am I still gaining weight. God you’re stupid. I work with ignorant people. Most of my friends are online. I miss you Jaylon. Anthony u make me sick! I know more than you think I know. I lost this weight for you. Yay! I got a raise. I hate working at nite. He’s cute. We’re not together we broke up again. SCREAM What is wrong with me. Why do u keep sayin I’m big? I do care about you. I love you too. I forgive you. I miss you guys. Jaylon Mekhi. Cry. SCREAM. I’m tired. My first house. I love being up here. He blames me for my baby’s death. CRY. I’m not sorry I’m hear. I hate that bitch. Stupid bitch. Stop asking me for money. Will you shut up. I do everything for you. It’s ok I brought u something anyway. I love you. I miss you. I hate you. SCREAM You make me sick. Aww that’s sweet. Dumbass. I don’t care go. Run like a lil bitch that’s what u do. Sleep I’m horny. I miss you. Dam he’s hot. SAD. Why do you keep doin this? I will stomp a hole in your ass bitch. This is what u choose over me? Why does he keep coming back? I’m tired. Sleep. SCREAM. I don’t want to go to work. My first cruise. Never again will I go with her anywhere. LEAVE ME ALONE!! SCREAM! Cry. I’m glad I can talk to you. I saw him. If u mention your son to me one more time I’m goin to stab u. I don’t care. SCREAM!!! I need to lose more weight. I hate my tummy. I’m fat. Why don’t u ever say I look nice? Why don’t you ever hug me. If you loved me you would treat me better. You are a liar. I forgive you. Can we make another video? I want more sex! SCREAM. I’ll remind u til your death. Talk about Jaylon! Go! My life, my death. It’s ok to let go. I was good 2 u. That what u choose? Have at it. Friends? Love me. U were supposed to be my friend. Mention Him! 12/06/03. 4 yrs of my life. Where did it go? My personality is getting some muscle. Maybe I need to move on. I called your bitch…did she tell u? ha. 4 years. I did this to please you. I brought u this. I miss u. jaylon my prince. I trusted u. I don’t wanna hear about him. Do you still like my body? I am doin this for you. Turn on the camcorder. If only u knew. I miss his voice. I could so hurt u. SCREAM. I went out with my friends last nite. Smile…I miss Jaylon. We’re apart of each other always. That was fun. Hmm I can do this. Cry. I wont stop being me. I’m still mad at u. I want a normal relationship. Be strong Tracy. Jaylon Mekhi Walker. I love you my lil angel. Someone else will love you. Scream! I cant sleep. Losing you doesn’t mean I lose his memory. Am I fat? Naïve? I cant believe we are coming to an end. 4 years thrown away. I’m not moving back. We had fun. If only u knew. I’m a good person. I cant do this anymore. Its killin me. Scream. Cry. I love me you don’t. I gotta let this go. I still have luv. Peace. I’m mad at u for not trying harder. Jaylon mekhi. Kisses my sweet. Cry. Sad. I’ll be ok. I have my friends. Cry. Love doesn’t hurt. Jaylon 12/06/03. his anniversary is coming. Scared! U never saw him. Cry. How am I goin to fix this? Anger. Jaylon. Don’t fukkin ignore me. I’ll love again. Find me …I cant look anymore. We had fun last nite hangin out. Smile. That’s funny. I’m a good chic. Lol . I like my shape a lil more. It’s ok! I hope youre happy. I still luv u and that’s ok. I’m ready. Thanks! Smile. I’m happy today. Letting all of this go. I can do this. Who? I can draw! 12/06 came and I’m ok. I wont forget either of u. I’m ok with it. Smile I’m ready to leave this behind.. I’m done! Exhale!
*-Chocolate_Swizzle-*
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the purest ore isproduced from the hottest furnace,and the brightest thunderbolt is elicited from the darkest storm.
our way in this world is like a walk under a row of trees,chequered with light and shade;and because we cannot all along walk in the sunshine,we therefore peversely fix only upon the darker passages,and so lose all the comfort of our comforts.
there is nothing so easy as to revenge an offence;but there is nothing so honourable as to pardon it.the greatest victory one can obtain is over oneself;and thee who disdains to feel an injury,returns it upon those who who offered it.
hey Mina, dis my shytte. This is ... can I steal your writing style, please!? I need to be on dope, am muslim. Am stabbing myself in the chest. I'm ignoring hot sex. I'm isolated. I'm annoying to myself. I'm angry. still angry. I need to be on dope. I don't drink bacardi, rumm, wine, johnny walker. am really nice to people. i forgive them. I'm alive because of music. am I worth it? Philanthropy??! my azzz. I write philosophy. Maybe 500 years from now I'll be Tuthankhamnun, coz of my poetry & art. I love my mother. I'm spiritual, I hate it. I need to be on dope. i play guitar to kill the anger. i walk to kill the anger. i want to stop this. i want to be free. i need to be on dope. am angry, aggressive, & kind at the same time. i hate money. i love people. i want to listen. i want to share. am i worth? i need to be on dope ...
titled, "I need to be on dope"
"I stay woke ..." Master Teacher, Erykah Badu.
love you Mina.
Hermie Babes
Thanks Hermie Babes for sharing that wit me. There is nothing in this world wrong wit u. U are a perfect bein in every sense of the world. Don't beat yaself up over other ignorant ppl luv.
Kisses Hermie Babes.
and to my anonymous friend....in an email...You'll get urs. *smooch*
Mina, I did not know you had a blog. It is interesting with some good writing.
Maybe I said it to you before, I am not sure. You are your own best friend and your best love. No one can love you more than you. Knowing that, who gives a rat’s ass who loves you? In the end, this world we live in dictates that we be strong. You have made it thus far, so you are strong in my book. The world is yours.
Thanks PIF....yes I started this particular blog a lil while back. I think Im much stronger than I was a few years ago...so I'm definately happy bout that. Thanks for stoppin in and thanks for being such a great friend.
i think your beautiful,not just of the way you look but beacause of the strength and charachter you display mixed with that cocktail of humour and feistiness,your fated to rise up.
Thanks luv. :O)
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